A B O U T M E
My journey to offering support across the Cycles of Life
How it all began
From very early experiences, it seems like my life has put me on a purposeful and intentional path. Even as a child, I was drawn to support others, ease suffering and bring comfort where I could. These experiences have also supported my learning, growth, and clarity about what’s important in my own life.
About 25 years ago, my father was in the late stages of cancer, and I had the honour of being with him alongside my sisters and mother in his final days. Never leaving his side and offering him whatever comfort and support we could, he died peacefully at our family home. I was trained as a birth doula at that time and realized that I was offering the same skills and support to my father that I had been trained to offer women in labour. From that experience, I was drawn to share what I could to accompany others to have their own meaningful and supported end-of-life.
I began to volunteer at Wellspring in Oakville, and then in Hamilton at a day hospice called Circle of Friends, a program that was developed and run by a retired palliative care nurse and her husband, a retired doctor. In this program, I offered Reiki, relaxation techniques, meditation, and a gentle form of yoga called The Five Tibetan Yogas. I shared how to do Reiki with the members of this group and their families so that they could support themselves at home.
About a year into volunteering there, I had the honour of accompanying one of the members of the Circle of Friends who could no longer come to the program in her weakened state. She and her family welcomed me into their home daily to support the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual journey she and they were experiencing as she moved closer to her death. Supporting her and her six daughters, most of whom were teens and young adults at the time, along with her grieving husband, I offered whatever was being called for in the moment to each of them: empathic listening, Reiki (gentle healing touch for the physical and emotional pain), caring and compassionate connection, a safe space to share concerns and thoughts, and always, focused presence.
From that experience, I began to visit with other patients who could no longer come to the day hospice program.
During this time I was also offering supportive programs and camps to children of different ages to find comfort and strength in these mindful tools as they also moved through times of transition.
In 2013, I registered for a training program that was being offered at the Institute of Traditional Medicine in Toronto called Contemplative End of Life Care where I became a Thana (death) Doula. This intensive six-month training gave me a foundation in many practical and theoretical ways to approach the sacred process of dying.
A month after completing this training, my mother became sick and it was clear she was entering her own end-of-life process. I moved in with her for her last five months, bringing all that I had learned and experienced until then to create a living and dying experience that I hope was lovingly supportive and meaningful for her, and for all of our family members who surrounded her during her last days. One of my colleagues and dear friends who I had met in the Thana Doula training, supported me with a ritual bathing of my mom after she had died, and also offered emotional care for me and my family during that time of loss. From that experience, we decided to join forces and create a meaningful way of accompanying people and families with their end of life.
Since 2015 Rebecca and I have been offering care to families in a variety of ways, supporting people in their homes, in hospitals, in hospice, at Long Term Care Facilities, and providing education and open conversations about death and dying alongside other ways we bring support including Compassionate Communication, Grief Support and Companioning, Ceremonies honouring tender moments such as how to say goodbye and connect meaningfully with loved ones, Reiki, supportive listening, advocacy, legacy work, Nonviolent Communication based mediation, respite to loved ones, and tools for relaxation and self-connection including meditation and breathwork.
I have had the privilege of working in both Amica Dundas and Highgate Residence in Ancaster supporting private clients as well as their families as they made the challenging transition from independent living into supported living and then later as they entered into their end-of-life process. Having the opportunity to build a relationship with them enabled me to know what they most valued including what words, prayers, thoughts, touch and energy they wanted to experience during their last moments.
With our introduction to the Amica and Highgate communities, we developed a program called Waltzing for Wellness which honoured the love of ballroom dance that our clients and others of their generation found joy in. Often despite being in a wheelchair or using a walker, and even those experiencing dementia continue to enjoy and be moved by, the familiar music and movement of their generation.
At Amica, we have been invited to support the staff and residents with Ceremonies and other opportunities to honour grief and loss and to continue to offer workshops, programs and classes which are designed to open authentic dialogue for participants to have a safe space for self-expression and sharing.
I am so grateful to the families and their loved ones who have entrusted me to be a part of these intimate and precious moments.
My wish is that those going through life transitions, and all those within their loving circle, will feel the authentic warmth, compassion, understanding and comforting reassurance of being caringly accompanied through their own unique journey.
Acknowledgments and Gratitude
I have arrived where I am as a result of the skill and expertise of the many people from whom I have learned and continue to learn so much over the years.
I would like to acknowledge and thank Dekyi Lee Oldershaw (Transformative Mindfulness Methods), Susan McDonald (Reiki), Henry Wai (Nonviolent Communication), Mary McKenzie (Nonviolent Communication Academy), Yoram Mozensum (Connecting2Life -The Art of Dialogue), John Kinyon and John Reel (Conflict Coaching and Mediation), Guthrie Sayen (Parts Work), Michele Chaban (Contemplative End of Life Care Thana Doula training), Jesse Valvasori (Ballroom Dance), Devon D’Andrea (as a student, business coaching and support to this website), my daughters who have been my most profound teachers and supporters, and all the children and people who I have had the privilege to support over the years, who have inspired and challenged me, and who I continue to learn from.
Thank you!
My Training
Wedding Celebrancy Training - Life-Cycle Celebrant®
January-March 2024
Celebrant Foundation and Institute
This training offers in-depth learning for how to create and master the craft of writing personalized, custom ceremonies that tell each client’s story in a way that reflects who they are and that is unique to them.
Conflict Coaching and Mediation, based on Compassionate Communication
John Kinyon: Communication Conflict Consciousness, 2022 to 2023
A 9-month intensive training that provides a framework in times of transition and stress. This healing and reconciliation-based mediation offers families, couples, and other relationships a safe and caring space to address conflicts around many matters, including financial concerns, relationship challenges, care for parents and more. It is a form of mediation based on creating empathic understanding and connection which naturally leads to creative possibilities for resolution.
Parts Work based on Internal Family Systems from a coaching perspective
Guthrie Sayen, PhD, PCC, a yearlong training in IFS for coaches, offered through Leadership That Works, 2021 to 2022
This year-long training on Parts Work is based on IFS (Internal Family Systems) a method of framing our inner world through a lens of compassion to form an integrative and healing relationship with the different parts or aspects of ourselves. Often in times of stress and transition parts are activated to bring understanding and care to our whole system.
Various Trainings in Nonviolent Communication
“Nonviolent Communication (NVC) has been described as a language of compassion, as a tool for positive social change. NVC gives us the tools and consciousness to understand what triggers us, to take responsibility for our reactions, and to deepen our connection with ourselves and others, thereby transforming our habitual responses to life. It is based on a fundamental principle:
Underlying all human actions are needs that people are seeking to meet, and understanding and acknowledging these needs can create a shared basis for connection, cooperation, and more globally – peace.” (By Inbal Kashtan and Miki Kashtan Bay NVC)
Yoram Mosenzon - Connecting2life
Completed intermediate and advanced courses in Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
2020-2022 intensive training and practice of NVC
Nonviolent Communication Courses Through the NVC Academy
2019 to 2022
Trained as Facilitator of Compassionate Communication
Parenting without Obedience
NVC for Social Change: Responding to Systemic Issues with Compassion
Building Restorative Systems for Transforming Conflict
A Deep Dive into the Art of Mediation
Life-Cycle Celebrant® for Funerals, Healing Ceremonies and Across the Life Cycle
Celebrant Foundation and Institute, 2016
Graduated as a Life-Cycle Celebrant honouring life transitions through ceremony. This training involved learning how to create and facilitate personalized and unique ceremonies that reflect the many significant transitions within a life from funerals to ways to say goodbye to loved ones, to ceremonies honouring the ending of a marriage, a move, and any other meaningful occasion.
Contemplative End-of-Life Care Program
The Institute of Traditional Medicine in Toronto, 2013
Canada’s first Thana Doula (Death Doula) training in the complex elements of companioning people at end of life and their families from a psycho-social-medical-legal-ethical and spiritual perspective.
First Training in Nonviolent Communication
NVC (Compassionate Communication), 2010
Henry Wai from the Center For Nonviolent Communication - Foundational training.
Emotional Freedom Technique (Levels 1 and 2)
How to Cope Vivian Cannataro EFT, 2008-2010
EFT is a relaxation technique which uses tapping on acupuncture points with the fingertips as a way to reduce stress and anxiety.
Reiki Teacher (Master) with Susan McDonald
2010, Began training in Reiki in 1995 *see below
Member of the Canadian Reiki Association
Reiki is an ancient Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is offered with a gentle placement of hands that brings supportive energy and a deep state of relaxation and self-connection.
Completed training as a Reiki Master/teacher for people of all ages after a full year of apprenticeship and teacher training.
Joined the Canadian Reiki Association as a Reiki Teacher and began offering courses to adults and children.
Transformative Mindfulness Method’s Facilitator
Transformative Mindfulness Methods, Dekyi Lee Oldershaw, Lamp on the Path, 2005
Transformative Mindfulness Methods include a series of simple, natural healing methods and meditations that empower adults, youth and children to change their response to challenges and strengthen positive qualities, deepening acceptance of themselves and compassion for others. These methods can also draw on the power of the mind to help reduce or eliminate physical and mental pain. They assist in clarifying spiritual challenges associated with terminal illness and times of transition and deep questioning. These very simple but effective receptive visualizations, meditations and exercises can be coupled with drawing, writing or dialogue.
Trained as a Reiki Practitioner Levels 1 and 2
with Reiki Teacher/ Master Susan McDonald (see above), 1995
Certification as a Birth Doula with DONA (Doulas of North America)
1994
A trained professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to their client before, during and shortly after childbirth to help them achieve the healthiest, most satisfying birth experience possible. Having a birth doula support has been shown to improve physical and psychological outcomes for both pregnant, birthing, and postpartum people and their babies. Doulas have a positive impact on the well-being of the entire family.
FOR ALL OCCASIONS
FOR CHANGE & TRANSITION
FOR COMFORT & LEGACY
My mother had a long and painful battle with cancer. During this difficult time we made every effort to keep her at home and as comfortable as possible. The constant care, attention and love that was needed during this time was made possible in part through the efforts of Lori Goldblatt. Her compassion, attentive care and understanding of our needs made this difficult journey a little easier.
- Randy G